24/7 Relationship: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.
Animal transformation fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the masochist entering the altered mindspace of a different species, typically a dog, pony or horse.
Abrasion: Using something brutish (such as sandpaper).
Aftercare: The time after a Sadomasochistic scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality. Sadomasochistic often involves an endorphin high and very severe experience, and failure to engage in proper aftercare can choker to subdrop as these return to more everyday levels.
Ageplay: Usually referring to daddy/daughter or mommy/baby role play. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student.
Anal anguish: The Bdsm practice of inflicting torment on the anus.
Animal Play: The slave girl acts or dresses like an animal (puppy, pony, cow, etc.).
Auctioned off: Dominant auctions off the slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
Good pain and bad anguish are terms used lightheartedly by Edge play practitioners, signifying that whilst Bdsm may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual torment, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other torment is not. "Bad anguish" is pain which is outside abusive limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context.
Good anguish and bad anguish refer to pleasant vs. unpleasant pain. As a "vanilla" example, imagine soreness after a good workout at the gym versus the torment of breaking a leg. Author Jay Wiseman suggests a correlation between perception of "bad anguish" during Sm play and subsequent injury.
Edge play: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism: a combined acronym often used as a catchall for anything in the kink scene.
African-American sheet party: An orgy for people into Sado maso sex.
Chains: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, however it can be limited to a particular body part, such as knocker bondage.
Rear end: one who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the one-done-to rather than the do-er.
Boob confinement: The act of tying female knockers so that they are either flattened against the chest or so that they bulge.
Breath Ascendancy: The dominant controls the unassertive's breathing.
Rear end plug: Much like a dildo, but pear-shaped with a flared base. The flared base prevents the plug from being lost in the anal cavity; the pear shape helps hold the plug in place. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate.
Chastity: A form of pretty sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their pussy, save at the whim or choice of their fiance, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for blokes a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.
Cock and ball agony (CBT): Torture of the male private parts for sexual gratification.
Collared: Subservient or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared. Also: a pup's status, as differentiated from a "stray".
Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dominant, of a slave girl's service, or the "ownership" of a pup by a Punishing dominant or Trainer. Also the ceremony when a dominant commits to a masochist (much like a wedding or other contract).
Consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing edge play relationship.
Consensual non-consensuality: A mutual agreement that within defined limits, consent will be given as read without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. As such, it is a show of trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities.
Contract: A written-out agreement between the dominant & submissive. It can be either formal or non, and is usually written after much negotiation by the dominant and the pain slave, outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two. It is not legally binding.
Pain in the dungeon and Dark room Monitor, a person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeons to enforce house rules - essentially, the bouncer of a Sado maso event. They sometimes also play cruise director to keep/get the party going.
Dom: A person who exercises command (from dominant-contrast with masochist).
Dominant A person who exercises government - contrast with spiritless.
Domme: Girl who exercises rule (see also Dominatrix). Often associated with a particular brand of traditional femininity; many younger female dominants prefer to use the nongendered terms dom/dominant.
D/s: Dominance/submission: play or relationships that involve an sweet power exchange.
Dark room: Usually referring to a dungeon or area with Sm equipment and play space
Edgeplay: Edge play play that involves a chance of harm, either physically or emotionally. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players (i.e., what is risky for me may not be as risky for you), there isn't a universal list of what is included in edgeplay. However, there are a few forms of play which almost always kick up the cut, including fireplay, gunplay, raw body play, breath play, and bloodplay.
Endorphin energize: Endorphins are the chemicals responsible for the "high" people often get from activities such as sex, or high-risk sports, and is the body's response to heightened or extreme experiences of sure kinds. Bdsm activities, especially those incorporating a degree of sensation play often cultivate the endorphin shake as part of their "payoff" to the sub. But also see aftercare for the care needed to insure that subdrop does not occur afterwards as the body returns to normal.
Delicious sexual denial: keeping another person mad while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (see also tease and denial and chastity).
Kinky: A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.
Fire play: Using fire as an implement of BDSM. This can vindictive sucking the heat of a light torch onto a rear end, lighting pools of fuel on the behind's skin, lighting flash cotton on the derriere, and other creative uses of heat. Cupping is usually considered an offshoot of fireplay, although in sensation it's closer to the use of films and clamps. Usually considered edgeplay.
Genitorture: Pain of the amateur parts.
Good torment (1): Good torment and bad torment are terms used lightheartedly by Sado maso practitioners, signifying that whilst Sadomaso may include an element (often quite pronounced) of consensual agony, there is a purpose to it, and some anguish is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not. "Good anguish" is therefore anguish that is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the unassertive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value.
Good agony (2): Good pain and bad torture refer to perception of anguish as pleasant vs. unpleasant. Sensations that non-practitioners imagine to be agonizing are instead perceived and described by Sadomasochistic practitioners as pleasurable or a good form of torture, in much the way that muscles after a workout at the gym may be hurty, but in a good way. The transition of perception from "bad pain" to "good torture" may require a warm up beforehand.
Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person.
Gorean: A sub-genre based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the sweet novels by John Norman. Gorean culture is based on stereotypical gender based roles which is considered by many to be in conflict with Sm where there is freedom for either gender to act in any role (Male/Female as either Dom/sub or Top/bottom).
Gunplay: The practice of including actual (or simulated) firearms into a scene.
Handkerchief codes: Visible signs to indicate to others your area of Sado maso interest; a color worn on the left indicates a top, on the right indicates a bottom.
Heavy limits: What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable. (As opposed to "soft limits.")
Harem: A group of subs serving one or more dominants.
Impact play: Part of sensation play, dealing with squeeze such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing.
Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the butt with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a big part in the stimulus of the bottom.
Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do
Masochism: Act of receiving torture for sensual/sexual pleasure.
Pain slut: Person who enjoys torture, usually sexually.
Master/slave: A consensual relationship in which one person receives command (the Torturing master) when given it by another (the slave) for mutual benefit. An severe form of D/s which usually involves a 24/7 relationship rather than a short period of time (scene or perhaps a week end.) The slave will usually accept a choker from their Torturer to show that they are owned.
Mummification: Immobilising the body by wrapping it up, usually with multiple layers of tight petite plastic sheeting. Breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, often by leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) open. Body temperature (maintained to an extent by movement) may also be affected so a warm environment and warm aftercare may be important. Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play.
Munch: A group of people that are into Sm meeting at a "vanilla" place in street-appropriate attire. Sometimes this is a club. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Denny's". Needle play: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
Nose anguish: A traditionally Japanese form of Bdsm often involving nose hooks.
Nyotaimori: Human sushi platters.
OTK: Over the knee (flogging).
Slave slut: A person who enjoys receiving a barbaric degree of torment but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting.
Play party: A Sadomaso event involving many people engaging in scenes.
ProDom: Male professional dominant (charges money)
ProDomme: Female professional dominant (charges money)
Ponygirl or Ponyboy: Slave slut is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
Pup-play: Slaveslut is made to act like a puppy. Slaveslut barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc. Such play is sexual, but also focuses on the altered mind-space of bottom/pup and the complete dominance of his/her Trainer/Master.
RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
Rape fantasy, ravishment: The pleasurable fantasy of inflicting or being a victim to an act of consensual play-rape.
Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting anguish, usually sexually.
Safe, sane and consensual - (SSC) a credo used by some Sadomaso practitioners to determine the appropriateness of Sm play. Sometimes contrasted to RACK (risk aware consensual kink).
Safeword - A codeword a hind end can use to compel Sadomasochistic activity to stop - used especially in scenes which may involve consensual force.
Scat play: Feces play.
Scene: A time period of Edge play activities. Also used to refer to the Sadomasochistic community ("the Scene").
Sensation play: Sm play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips, flaggillation and edgeplay.
Service-oriented 247 slave: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or Sm environment
Slave: A person (usually wormy) who consensually gives up total dominance of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Sir)
Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.
Subdrop: A physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a grovelling after an severe session of Sm play. This can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.
cringing, or "pain slave" for short. Person that gives up government either all the time or for a specified period (Not to be confused with "tooshie" or "slave.")
Subspace: A "natural high" that a slave girl (or tush) gets during a scene or when being controlled. The pain slut may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Tormenting master(me)/top take away responsibility for the sub/bottom and be aware of their sub's wellbeing if they are in subspace.
switch: Someone who likes being both top and tail, either in one scene or on different occasions.
Taken in hand: 24/7 Male domination in monogamous marriage, with or without Bdsm aspects.
Tease and denial: Keeping another person outragious while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (see also orgasm denial).
Breast pain: The act of causing deliberate physical torment to the jugs and nipples.
TNG: The Next Generation. A tag commonly used by groups and organizations which cater to younger people involved in Bdsm, typically ages 18–35.
Top: Person "fucked the action" (contrast with hind end - person receiving the action.) Not to be confused with Torturing dominant which is the person who "puts the scene together". A male Tormentor could enjoy CBT and tell a masochist what they are to do. In this case the Top is the wormy (following the direction of the Dom) and the arse is the Punisher (receiving the attention of the top).
Topping from the rear end: A keister who purports to be a meek but who nonetheless wants to direct the top. TPE or Total power exchange: a relationship where the dominant or owner has complete ascendancy and influence over the dominated's life, making the majority of decisions.
Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to act.
Vanilla: Someone who is not into BDSM. Alternatively, sexual behaviour which does not encompass Sadomasochistic activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.
Warm up: The period at a beginning of a Sadomasochistic scene which involves gentle play, allowing the arse to begin endorphin production, enter subspace, and undergo physiological changes (such as bringing fluids to the surface before impact play) that will accommodate more severe play.
WIITWD: What it is that we do. A broad term referring to all forms of fetisch sexuality.
Wax play: The top drips sexy wax on the bottom.
Some people in the Sadomasochistic community begin dominant terms with an upper case, for example: Top, Master, Dom, Domme, etc., as well as to begin unassertive terms with a lower case, even where normally incorrect, chiefly in acronyms and abbreviations, such as D/s for Dom/sub. Some extend this to personal pronouns and names: for example Dom Rob's slave linda may refer to him as Master and herself as i. Others are highly dismissive of this "slashy speak."
In addition, high protocol refers to groups or individuals that adhere to savage roles and role-based rules of conduct, whereas low protocol refers to groups or individuals that are more relaxed. Old Guard now usually refers to high protocol groups, particularly gay leather Sado maso groups; people who use this phrase may be romanticizing a perception of leather history: see Elderly Guard leather. Pure and plain dominance and submission for you all.
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